I played trivia at the bar last night. At this stage of my career, I can only really answer questions about sports and 80’s wrestling. Ten years ago, I knew the capital of Bolivia. Now, well, I can tell you how much Dino Bravo bench pressed. My lifetime of knowledge and experiences can be summed up in three brief sentences.  

1) Turnovers will kill you.

2) Baseball playoffs are a crap shoot.

3) You never outgrow acne.

And as the emcee asked another U.S. Geography question I couldn’t answer, my only real productive thought was, “Should I pop this zit here at the table, or in the bathroom?” But despite my physical and mental imperfections, our plucky team entered the last round in second place.

Final category: Movies.

Perfect, movies. My girlfriend’s wheelhouse. I slid the paper and pen right across the table. She was pretty certain the answer to the 2005 movie question was 300. Now, I didn’t think 300 was right, because I remember listening to Q102’s morning show after I graduated college (’06) and female callers –

I’ve already said too much. Anyways, I stayed quiet. I kept my little secret between me and Booker and the gang. I played the role of a supportive and loyal boyfriend, and handed our answer to the emcee.

300 sounds right, I told her.

300 wasn’t the answer. It was some George Clooney movie which I had never heard of or seen. We finished in 5^th place, out of the money. We paid our bill and stood outside, waiting for a cab, waiting for the Brutus Beefcake question that never came.

What, you didn’t expect me to talk about the Phillies or Birds, did you?